Leadership Session #3 - Your last mistake is your best teacher

Do you remember a day when everything you did or saw was perfect? Everything in its place, no errors, no mistakes?  Is that a murmured "No" I hear? Damn right!  Its human to err..the Japanese call it Wabi Sabi - The Art of Imperfection..... here is a little story.   A gardener was asked to get a garden ready for guests who were coming to see a house.  He toiled and picked and swept and plucked; when everything was perfect, he shook the cherry blossom tree just a bit to have scattered flowers on the path....

I really got all heated up when my team made mistakes: harsh, unforgiving, shaking my head and muttering under my breath!  But realisation hit me every time I made mistakes and faced the same abhorring treatment from my boss.  I understood that this experience of making mistakes is creating an awareness in me - and when faced making the same error again, my brain triggered off and that told me something isn't quite right.   That's when I knew, here is the learning...this is how it should be done.  Of course one has to be brave enough to share the mistake and learning both.  That's leadership.  And yes it requires courage to admit your mistake....but then lighten up, talk of Wabi Sabi!

Mistakes are definitely stepping stones to Learning and Success.  Treat it as such, and your team will admit their mistakes quickly instead of camouflaging it until it may become a huge unsolvable problem. Discuss mistakes in your meetings and get everyone to contribute what they have learnt from them. Make "discussing mistakes" a permanent point in your monthly meeting agenda and make it mandatory for each one to present at least one.  This will encourage introspection and analysis of what is done - right and wrong.  This will bring forth new learning and innovative solutions. This will bring comfort and ease with each team member - open, unafraid and seeking to learn more. 

This will make you like yourself better and you will look for more ways to become a true Leader.

 And this one is just for fun!

Leadership Session #1 Give up on Giving up - Inspired Tale

We all know that Hanuman found Sita in Lanka. Here is a story that tells us the events that led him to finding Sita. Hanuman’s first search for Sita ends in failure. The Sanskrit epic depicts him in a crestfallen mood on the island, reflecting on what to do next. Hanuman, disheartened by failure is now standing on the shore of the ocean and reasons that perhaps it is best for him to commit suicide since he cannot fulfil his promise to Rama.

While he was contemplating suicide, his attention was diverted by the activity of a small bird, which seemed to dive from the sky, collect water of the ocean in her beak and fly away. The frequent repetition of this act by the little bird aroused his curiosity and he asked the bird what it was up to. The bird replied: My nest has fallen into the ocean and I am trying to dry up the ocean to recover it. Hanuman was taken aback by the resolve of the little bird and asked, full of surprise, how she hoped to empty the ocean to recover her nest. Thereupon the bird replied:
Days and nights are long; My beak is strong as iron. Indefatigability is the root of success. Why will the ocean not dry up?

Hanuman was astounded by the determination of the little bird and thought to himself if this little bird can display such courage and determination then surely, I should not give up on my goal and at least make one more attempt to find Sita. 

Hanuman did, indeed, succeed in his mission the second time. The little verse uttered by the little bird in the epic became a famous saying and its message – Give up giving up – has perhaps inspired many more, just as it inspired Hanuman.

#Leadership Session 2: - #Lead by example

"Practice what you preach!" Remember hearing this all the time when growing up? "Its easy to talk, do it and show!" - another common phrase which we've either said or heard or both.

 I remember seeing so many movies, where the protagonist is the first to jump into a difficult situation and try to sort it or takes a stand which is unique.  Others almost always follow. 

Take Sholay: where Jai and Veeru are the only two to fight off Gabbar's gang in the beginning, with others following suit when they see the courageous duo - a classic example of leading by example.

In my long stint of working, I've come across so many "leaders/bosses " who have different rules for their team and another set of rules for themselves.  Walking the talk instils trust and confidence in you as a "leader" - people start following you. 

I've written so many policies in my career as an HR professional, and have had to revisit quite a few of them, when I had to follow these myself as an employee.  On paper, a process of work or  policy may look fantastic; only when you implement these yourself will you know how practical or good they are. 

As a leader you have to inspire people around you to bring out the best in themselves and take the Company to greatness. To do this, you must show them the way by doing it yourself. 

And take this home to your parents, spouse, children, siblings, friends - take the lead: show them you care,  love, and trust. They'll follow...for sure.

The social complexities of Music in the '70s and '80s.

When I was around 16 or so,  our family bought a stereo system...a cassette player with 2 speakers.  We also had a vinyl record player that could be hooked to the speakers.  We had arrived!!  And more....the deck could hold two cassettes so we could record ..from one to the other. 

I listened to Abba, Boney M, Tina Charles, The Carpenters, Beatles - pop music.....that's the way aha aha...I like it....aha aha.... and ofcourse Micheal Jackson.  Our cousin Hiro who used to live in Lagos introduced me to Harry Belafonte....and my brother Mahesh, who by then went to work, first in Dusseldorf and then in London, introduced me to Anne Murray.  With the VCR and Top of the Pops video cassettes....yesss I was "the music connoisseur" or so I thought. 

One day my sister Mala hands me a cassette asking me to play it - Jagjit Singh!!! who is this person I exclaimed!!??  And the song...woh kagaz ki khasti, woh baarish ka pani.  And other soul-some songs. But she was in love, so I added Jagjit Singh songs to my "collection". 

When Mala & Rajesh (the love of her life that brought Jagjit to our home) got married,  Mummy entertained quite often..lots of good food and music; hey....that's my forte ...I made playlists (at that time it meant recording cassettes) for these parties with Dancing Queen and Rasputin, feeling excited and DJ-ish, wanting to impress my new Jiyaji and his friends. 

Alas!! 😞  Rajesh and his friends brought their own music!  Doors, Pink Floyd, Eagles, Eric Clapton, pray God! who were these creatures who made this noise and sang lyrics that were so radical (yes and Super tramps too!).  I felt shadowed, lost  - inadequate.  Not one to give up on music,  I created new playlists (🙄 - yes I mean recorded new cassettes) of this new odd music and listened to them everyday.  Soon the words made sense and the noisy music had me spellbound.   It was Brick in the Wall, Cocaine, Riders on the Storm...(i always held on to the Beatles) that were always on my playlist.

Hindi film music, rap, electronic - as I grew older and wiser, I loved all sorts of music....not concerned with genre, only with the rhythm, but Abba, and Boney M were cobwebbed, forgotten perhaps consciously. 

2008...Mama Mia !!! Merly Streep and Pierce Brosnan brought back Abba to my life along with it all the oldies that I had tucked away.  Now Pop, Rock, Jazz, Sufi, Bollywood... Arijit, Sonu, Rehman, Beyonce, Jim Morrison, not to forget, Honey Singh and Badshah all live together, without conflict,  in my playlists. 𝅘𝅥𝅮🎝🎝𝆔𝆔  I love happy beginnings, don't you??

Reinventing myself at 57

“There is something beautiful about a blank canvas, the nothingness of the beginning that is so simple and breathtakingly pure. It’s the paint that changes its meaning and the hand that creates the story. Every piece begins the same, but in the end they are all uniquely different.” 
― Piper Payne

Sure sounds good doesn't it - the blank canvas the simplicity....I believe I'll eventually call my current blank canvas beautiful too.  I have the pieces of the jigsaw; I have the threads to start weaving.  I  have the colours, the design: I am the architect.  And the builder too.

I did tell myself to retire: Take it easy girl! Its been 3 decades😲😲😲.   Really? I'm not done yet. I've built muscle now, those hills ahead are climbable.  So I'm not hanging up my boots - not for quite sometime.

From employment to self-employment. From behind the desk to the other side of the desk.  From "what became routine" to exciting?  I'm almost sure. I have to work at eliminating that "almost".

It takes courage - I'm told I'm brave.  I've been unconventional - that's innovation by default. I'm getting started - in a different gear this time - another league.

May the Force be with me.  And all of you. 

The food connection....returns. Snacks at work.

Its the trend you know....series...part II, III, and so on...and so I return. With newer stories, healthier recipes (almost always). Why did I stay away? I ask myself.  Answers will follow I know.

I need to lose weight...I have always had to lose weight. I have read, heard, seen so many nutritionists that I can now consult. But...what I cannot practice, I will not preach.

I work...I have really busy days. But there is always time for that tiny (really!!) snack at 11.30 am and 4.30 pm.  Channa & Peanuts, Khakra, Dry Fruits, a Fruit...and then?? can't eat the same stuff every day, now can we?

Let's innovate.  Get an idea, toss it around and viola!

A dip for that khakra:  Hung Curd (take good old dahi, topple in a old kerchief, rubberband it, hang it for an hour or so <i have these cute stick on hooks that i find very useful in the kitchen>), very finely cut dill (all veggie walas have it - its called suaa), salt, pepper. For variation add a squirt of honey. So tasty.  Use it to dip with cut carrots, cucumber, bread sticks, anything..eat as it is. 

More in the next one. Do motivate me. Comment. Muaah... 

Quick and fast meals

I love to eat and i love to cook. I can eat slowly savoring the best of meals. However, i'm impatient when it comes to cooking....which leads to being innovative in the kitchen...cooking quick and delicious meals.  I'm gonna share these innovations ...a couple of recipes at a time. Rachna tells me i must cook it, click a snap and upload with the recipes...which i shall do from next time on.

For those who like eggs and potatoes...my mom-in-law used to make this, i've just added a few options.  Its called - Bateto over endoo...yeah..say it with a parsi accent..

For 2 servings.  4 eggs. 2 cups of peeled diced potatoes. 1 onion - chopped. 2 tomatoes - chopped. 2-3 green chillis - chopped. Corriander leaves - 2 tblspoons.  Grated cheese - 2 tblspoons (or more if you like cheese).  Pinch of haldi, dhania powder, 1/2 tsp black pepper powder. Salt to taste.

In a kadai, 2 tbsps oil - heat it, add green chillis and onions, stir it around for 30 secs., add potatoes, tomatoes, salt, haldi, dhania powder. Cover and  simmer for 5 mins. Then add about 1/4 cup of water, cover - it will have cooked in another 2-3 mins.; there will be some moisture left.  Now whisk up the eggs and pour over the potatoes - sprinkle pepper powder and grated cheese, simmer until egg cooks. Serve with bread-butter and if you like tomato sauce.....lip smackingly delicious....even if i say so myself. :-)

Next recipe...hmmm....quick pasta.

For 2 servings. 3 handfuls of penne (boil in plenty of salted water until al dente).  Strain, wash under cold water and keep aside. (to save time you can cook the penne and the sauce at the same time  - on different burners ofcourse).   For the Sauce: 2 tbls of cornflour, 1 cup of milk, 1 cup of water,  1 small onion sliced, 1 small firm tomato sliced, 1 cucumber (yes!) peeled and sliced a bit thick, 2 green chillis slit,  now the options:- i add a couple of sauges sliced, a couple of salami piece sliced, or some boneless chicken, the thing is you can add whatever you like to eat - like capcicum, beans, carrots, kheema, etc.., salt pepper, 1/2 tsp of lemon juice, 1/2 cup of grated cheese (optional)
Sauce preparation:  In a pan, add 2 tbls olive oil, put in all except cheese, lemon juice, milk water and cornflour. Add salt and pepper - stir fry for 5-6 mins (if you have put in raw chicken, cook until done - cut small so it cooks fast). Add in the water, and milk mixed with cornflour.  Sauce will thicken in a min. Add the penne and cheese and lemon juice. Mix it...ready to eat.  If you want to save calories, skip the cheese.

If you want more quicky and tasty recipes, you have to encourage me with great comments. I need to be motivated too na.... Muuaah.....

You make my garden prettier

Dear Ma,
Everytime i got scared to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, you came and stood there, half asleep but never complaining. I learnt that Moms do that....when i became a mom.  You shouted and even hit me when cleaning the lice from my hair....i learnt it was concern, when i did the same to my daughter. Changing a tubelight, reparing a fuse, hanging up a picture, fixing things, stitching me a new outfit within 2 hours, you did all this and more without much ado.  You were as scared of lizards as i was, yet you chased them away everytime i screamed....I learnt that Moms have to be strong for their children....from you.

I always used to sleep early, even before dinner was ready.  Yet i never slept hungry....you made sure i had my fav dahi-chawal every night...my soul food:-)   I learnt to cook watching you do it, i learnt to keep a great house being around you - I know that now.


Whenever i started to tell you my troubles, you spoke of something else.  Unconsciously, whenever i am troubled, i just do something else...think of other things...and the trouble just becomes another matter to handle..a situation that would pass...the relativity dawned on me only now.

Dad was gone when i was 12...i hardly missed him. I'm 50 now...when you are gone....and i miss you so much.  I argued with you the most, i fought with you the most, i disagreed with you the most, and I'll miss you the most.  I've brought your plants home Ma....you make my garden prettier.

Be safe....and be around.

Love - Champa

Cats & Dogs

Fatty - lounging

Nanki by the water bowl

Its been quite a few years now - at all times, we either have a dog or a cat or both who adopt us.  They hang around our home, we feed them, they mate have babies...we play with them and as we all know, hardly any of them survive - we cry... swear never to get too attached...which never happens...and the cycle continues.  Around 3-4 years back, one pup survived - a female - we call her choti...feed her regularly...and she sleeps outside our door, barks when someone enters the compound and promptly runs away when they get closer (so much for being our security). Choti is affectionate, cute, scared, fertile and very horny (she also likes variety...ahem).  She's had 4 sets of pups till now... some dead, some given away, all cute.  This is about her latest set of pups, who are still very much around and absolute darlings. By the way, a male cat too has adopted us, we call him Kita. He's an old cat - scared of the pups, so stays away nowadays.  Now back to the pups.

Rachna's boy - trying to snack on my ear

Fighting pups

There are 5 of them - Fatty (who is not fat any more), Nanki (got droppy eyes, so we called him Nanak, found out he is a she - so its Nanki now), scared pup (he comes out only to eat), browny (he's detached kind) and lastly whom we call Rachna's son (about 3 weeks back, he somehow got out of the building and Rachna went and rescued him - so he thinks she's his Mom - comes running to her when he sees her).  They are adorable brats who chew on anything....the maids have to bring in their slippers now since they run away with it and chew it within minutes.  They keep jumping on us, so its difficult to walk when we have to go out - so one of us distracts them, and then makes a run for the car.   Fatty is a bit ill now (we pray he survives) but all others fit and funny. We hope they get adopted or else the survivors hang around our home - and so continues the saga... dogs, pups, mating, pups, dogs...

Hoi Mata

Cut to - a week before Diwali - year 1986...my ma-in-law told me about the family tradition of fasting on a particular auspicious day... for the goddess Hoi Mata.  Let me tell you all about it.

Back to - 2 days prior to Diwali - I fast for the entire day, except for water, couple of cups of tea and a fruit. Right until i spot the first star (believe me, on normal days i spot a star even at 6 in the evening, but on this day, no star till around 9ish).  Rachna helps me with the pooja ki tayaari... we draw out the hoi mata ka picture - Hansika joins in creating a riot. Aneeka joins us too.


So at last Ispot the first start - and the puja starts with me telling the Katha (story)...here goes....
There once lived a farmer (somewhere far away in the Northern area of India) called Ram. His wife Sita and 5 sons and 2 daughters completed the family.  As was his routine, Ram set out to plough his fields on morning and amidst his work he suddenly hears cries of pain - Alas! he's run his plough over some calves and they are all dead.  The mother Cow cries out in sorrow and curses the farmer Ram that he too would lose his beloved children.  Ram asks for forgiveness but the Cow does not relent. He hurries home to find his wife Sita in tears and all his children dead.  Helpless and sorrowful, both Ram and Sita start to pray, asking for forgiveness and their children's lives.  They were so sincere that a Goddess appeared before them and told them she was Hoi Mata - the protector of children. The farmer had committed a sin and so he must be punished - however, next year on the same day as he had killed the calves, he and his wife should fast the whole day and pray to the Goddess.  Ram and his wife follow whatever Hoi Mata had told them to do and as their puja got over, they heard a knocking on their door - and behold...their children were all back.  From that day on, whoever heard of this story, followed the tradition of fasting for Hoi Mata for their children's long life and prosperity.

So, the Katha done, i pour water out for the first star and whew ! eat at last.  Following the tradition set by my ma-in-law, i give sweets, fruits and fire crackers to Rachna and her friends who promptly go and burst them (burnt my money in just 20 minutes!!) :-).  Great fun...!!!  (Rachna ofcourse is as scared of crackers as ever - look at her :-)

P.S. - The dinner was vegetarian - but drinks toh banta hain...Anika made the greatest Long Island Tea i've had - and how much...i think all of us had 500 ml each.  

Scrabbled Souls

Soul is the essence of a person or object. Soul can be spiritual, psychological or philosophical.

Soul Mate - someone whom you connect with.  A partner or a friend.
Soul Curry - adding life to the soul.  Living life kingsize.
Soul Fry - Screwing up your Soul.  Living in the past, vengefulness, anger. Whats the point?
Soul Salsa - Mixed up Soul with a twist of tardiness.  Could be interesting. Tardiness, sourness -  adds taste to everything.
Soul Balm - Take your pick - Whisky, Gin, Tequila? Or Spirituality?
Soul Food -  Some would say Sex. Some Dal Chawal.  Depends...
Soul Guide - Mahabharata, Ramayana, Bible, Quran or hey...Bollywood? People learn lessons from movies and serials. I know that for sure. Its easier to relate to surely.
Soul Fitness - Charity.  Spreading cheer and goodwill.  Getting even (its temporary but rejuvenating)?
Soul Lifting - Shopping? Shopping!!!
Soul Uplifting - Family, friends, loved ones.  Diamonds? he he....
Soulfulness - Music, Reading. Eating.
Soulless - Alas!